nothing < everything

have you ever reached the point of knowing that matter what you try to do about it, it just isn't going to work?  and that it's better, albeit harder, to just give up, even when you think you want to push and push and try to make it happen?

because I have.  it isn't so much overwhelming, as it overtakes you.  slowly, and with great reluctance, I have realised that it isn't so much what I have done, or what I am doing, as it is what I have to do.

and I have to surrender.  to just give up.  to let it all go.  to be done.

all that matters is that we . . .  do . . . what is right.  and what is right sometimes feels like what is wrong, but only when we've allowed ourselves to expect that.

I've allowed my own emotions and preferences to take hold where they should never have been.  I've let my own heart lead where I should be following the heart of God.  and now I'm paying the price.  

strangely enough, letting go is actually easier than holding on -- David Crowder thought so too, saying, "letting go gives a better grip -- I'm finding everything I'll ever need by giving up, gaining everything" (Foreverandeverandetc.)

all that matters is that we follow all that matters to Jesus.  He is the one we need, and if letting go of my own selfish desires and ideas means that I'll catch a better grip on what He wants, then that's what I'm going to do.

it's true -- sometimes letting go rips your hand, cuts deep in ways you don't want to feel.  but if it hurts to pull a thorn out of your hand, imagine the pain that would come if you let the thorn rot in your hand, and infect it.  it could kill you.  pulling it out only stings for a bit.

I'm ready for the sting, God.  I'm waiting for You to pull out the thorn.  I'm ready for the pain.

just, please, do it fast.

Leaving Tonight ~ Amy Stroup

You did it again -- feels like you don't want me.  

You're stuck in my head, but you've got nothing for me.

So I'm leaving tonight, not waiting til morning.

I'll look you in the eye, but you've got nothing for me.

So I'm leaving tonight, 'cause it feels right --

No reason to try, for my heart could never catch you.

So I'm leaving tonight, 'cause it feels right --

No reason to try, oh, 'cause you've got nothing for me, 

Oh, 'cause you've got nothing for me.

I'll call my friends, they'll save a table for me.

We'll talk about you -- I bet they won't ignore me.

'Cause I'm leaving tonight, not waiting til morning.

Look at you one last time, but you've got nothing for me.

So I'm leaving tonight, 'cause it feels right --

No reason to try, for my heart could never catch you.

So I'm leaving tonight, 'cause it feels right --

No reason to try, oh, 'cause you've got nothing for me, 

Oh, 'cause you've got nothing for me.

So I'm leaving tonight, 'cause it feels right --

No reason to try, oh, my heart could never catch you.

So I'm leaving tonight, 'cause it feels right --

No reason to try, oh, 'cause you've got nothing for me, 

Oh, 'cause you've got nothing for me.

You have nothing for me.

You have nothing for me . . .