its 2010. I was thinking the other day, that I need to be more consistent about blogging. well. okay. thats rather a lie. I don't NEED to be. but I'd like to be. because parts of life should be consistent. like, I'd rather have consistent times to read and to journal and write. not for school - but for me. for God. for my own sanity. I get too caught up in the daily ups and downs of life and school and my family, that I so infrequently, and inconsistently, take time for myself.
its 2010. a new semester, a new schedule, a new set of dos and donts. I'm back at school - I got here Sunday evening after the single most tumultuous and crazy 3 weeks of my entire life. between time with Andy & his family, time with my family, helping to start planning 3 weddings and finalizing a 4th, trying to get ahead on the reading for this term, catch up on my sleep... oh my goodness. I'm tired just thinking about my break.
but now I'm back in Portland, back in my cozy dorm room here on 82nd St., back with my friends and where my life is, for now, rather focused. but I'm torn. I'm scattered. I'm neither here nor there. my family is in SoCal. my love is in Sacramento. my friends are literally scattered across the country and the world still. and here I sit. curled up in my adopted bed. thinking about all of this.
and staring at the pile of books and projects that are already calling my name, and calling my name very loudly. I thought taking 16 units would be a relief! but the relief has not come into focus yet.
maybe I'm looking in the wrong places for relief.
maybe I need to look at the little things...
waking my boyfriend up this morning and spending a few minutes being quiet on the phone.
the note Hannah left on my mirror today.
having at least one good friend in every. single. one. of my 6 classes.
the clouds breaking and parting just as I left work this afternoon.
watching Tiina and Wolfie interact together at last.
getting texts from little brother, who just wanted to say hello.
looking up while sitting at my desk to see my Charlie-Rock Infantry sticker.
a prayer date with Chelsea for this weekend.
a lunch date with Cassie tomorrow.
all of these, and more, like the fact that I'm actually at the same school for more than one semester - that hasn't happened in a couple of years. how I have 3 of my favorite professors in class this term. how my projects (for the most part) actually sound exciting AND challenging, not just one or the other.
the hand of God is so evident in my life. taking time to praise Him, to write about His work in my daily interactions with those around me, shouldn't be something I need to carve time out for. it should come as quickly and as easily as breathing. or brewing a cup of coffee...
actually. I think I'll brew one now.
praise Jesus for coffee. and for my life.
